The elephants.........oh my Godt (as the mahouts say)

I just tried to upload some pictures of me on the elephant, but it was too much for the computer.....I will try to figure it out later........sorry

The elephants...........the elephants, what magnificent animals. SOOOO BIG and so graceful. The mahouts dance with them like they are jelly. I on the other hand am clumsy and awkward. I am meeting some of my internal demons..........my fears, my reluctance to take risks with my body, that cause me to tense up on the elephant and today I ACHE. I mean ACHE........but I am finding ways to take good care of myself while honoring my need to push myself, while honoring my need to accept myself.........all a big order. I cried this morning cause I am such a big baby.....then I realized I am probably the only one in my family to ever get up on an elephant, so give me a break!!!

There is such emotional conflict in this scene. The mahouts LOVE their elephants. My elephant is named Wan Na Li........my mahout is Te Am.....very dear man. They are tender with the elephants and speak so softly...........and then this place makes it's money from the tourists so every day there are 2 shows that the elephants (and us as baby mahouts) participate in. I do not like it, but the elephants get food so they are happy. And the mahouts have a great time getting the elephants to spray water and the audience.

It is very dark at night.........the elephants are in the forest, expect for the big tuskers cause they need to protect them. One elephant very close to where we are sleeping GROWLS.....ROARS...it is exciting.

So..........I have more days to walk through my emotions. It is no coincidence that this is happening around Dad's death.........a place I walked with grace, to remind me about grace.....and around Obama's inauguration, YES WE CAN..............I am finding my way.